Jason: It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no its Squirrel Pope.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 5:51:00 PM

Today was an interesting day for me. Not cause anything special happened. Nope, I just had an epiphany while driving around the city. To you people with cellular phones, your morons, each and every one of you. Now Jason, what do you mean? It’s simple; you bought into the wireless tether, no matter where you are or what your doing, your moronic friends or idiotic family can call you. Yes I know you can just ignore the call, but then they leave a voicemail, but you’re still hearing from them, about their stupid day, or their stupid jobs. Beyond that, I’m forced to listen to your ear piercing midi files of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, or some other inane and obscure classical tune. Why do you do this? Is it the attention, because if you had not guessed most of us think you’re a moron. Turn the phone on vibrate and shove it up your ass, at least you get some kind of pleasure, and if you got the right features, you can take a picture of it up there and send it to EVERYONE you know! Now we have the ability for people to have their home and mobile number the same. Nice, I’m sure you will all be so happy to get telemarketers calling you at work all day trying to sell you siding for your house. I ask you all one simple question; don’t you ever get tired of being so amazingly stupid? If you answered no, or I’m not stupid to that question, and still own a cell phone, please go out and kill your family, then yourself because we really don’t need your genes clogging up evolution.
Well, with that rant out of the way let’s move on. Andy, I really need to kick your ass, I still have your copy of fight club, so I know I will get at least one chance to do it. Why you ask? Because, 6 to 8 months ago you told me something, that you would never do a “laborer” job ever again, and gave the impressions that not only were the jobs, but also the people were beneath you. Now I come to find out your going to become a carpenter’s apprentice? You lying bastard. Hypocrite! Seriously, not that I’m down on your ability to do a laborer job, I really don’t think you will be able to handle the apprenticeship. Its not what you think it is, to sum it up simple, your job although paying pretty well, will be to move shit from point a to point b as fast as possible. You bitched and complained the entire time I was on the trip about how you hate outside, and outdoors and the sun. Moron, where do you think your going to be? OUTSIDE! I can only imagine what John and Erik had to deal with for months on end more. But that’s not what this is about. So I wish you luck at this, but if you’re looking for an end game career, your looking down the wrong path. Turn back while you got the chance. Because just like the walk, you will be disappointed by this attempt to change your life too.
First off, to everyone out there about to ask the question I say shut up, seriously, I don’t care about your opinion cause guess what, its wrong. But to appease your hollowed out shell of a brain ill answer it. Why am I so down on Andy all the sudden right? Cause its along the lines of the straw that broke the camels back. So I will go down the list.
1. Andy, stop thinking life is shitting on you, its not.
2. These few simple words you speak. “I can’t get a girlfriend.” Guess what, your not the only one moron, get over it.
3. You run up and touch me or try to wrestle with me one more time for no reason I am going to beat you. Not only does it make you look gay, it’s REALLY annoying.
4. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life.” (See Answer number 2)
5. That damn sucking noise you make when you talk! STOP IT!
6. You talk the talk so well; I’m now giving you the chance to walk the walk.
7. Stop and smell the roses! You let the trip of a lifetime pass you by. And because you let it slip through your fingers, because you didn’t care, I will forever be pissed off at you. You pushed the hardest to finish and guess what, you got even less from the trip than I did. Feels good doesn’t it, moron.
8. The fact that you’re doing laborer work even though you said you never would do it again.
The list goes on; I won’t even get into the years and years in high school, and how you were exactly the same as you are now. It’s time to move on with your life, your not in high school anymore, the meaning of your life will not be handed to you. This is why you’re always so pissed off looking, because somewhere inside you, I think you realized that.
Attention, this will probably offend you.
(I thought a warning would be in good faith)
-Squirrel Pope


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