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RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: andys 8/18 pondering

Posted by: Tomar
Date: 8/27/2003 1:46:23 PM
Message:
ha ha ha...veeery funny.

In response to: [br]I just found the right venue for Meso and Tomar.

In response to: [br]I'm glad we can give them a good laugh. What is wrong with discussing the strengths and weaknesses of online relationships? It may not be that important but it might be helpful to some.

In response to: [br]I'm sure Andy and Romey read these stupid messages on their romance and laugh. What is the point in debating back and forth on whether or not they can sustain their relationship. Get a life guys, it's not that important!!

In response to: [br]Tomar, you just love to call me names. I will stand by my statement that long term relationships are impossible via computer. I did not say long term relationship cannot START online. I said they cannot be SUSTAINED online over the long term. You and yours would not be where you are today without physically coming together. Sure – people can sort through the baggage online that would have to be sorted during dating, but real relationships are living together as a committed partnership. Real relationships are seeing commitment demonstrated every single minute – not just during online sessions. Facial expressions and gestures and hugs and favors and routines cannot be experienced online. Until this happens, there is no future for a relationship. And I’m not being mean when I say the current setting is illusionary. Andy is in the middle of a personal commitment to this project and he and Romey **can** do some “baggage sorting”. He **can** maintain the contact until he is free of this project. Until, they find the will and the way to be routinely and privately together, this relationship remains an online curiosity.

In response to: [br]ok..i REALLY must disagree with you meso...wholeheartedly and with all my being about your statement about,"Andy being able to sustain a relationship with Romey via computer". And this is why...long distance relationships are hard, this is without a doubt true, however if the relationship is worthwhile to them, they will push threw this obsticle and find a deeper connection than is even possible with "traditional dating". This way they get to know eachother without all the B.S. that is involved in dating. This is something that i know something about, because it is how me and my wife got to know each other. So, to call their relationship impossible in the long term and illusionary is not very accurate and down right mean. they can get to know each other in a very real way, so let's not jump to conclusions and insult their relationship as well as their persons by your innane, uninformed prattle.

In response to: [br]These are outstanding female views on the situation. The counterpoint is that Andy has distanced from John and Erik. Not only geographically but his focus is diverted. J&E worked their A off during the break. On the road the division is mainly due to his sleeping problems and partly from his drive to reach THE goal. This friction has been present from IL and there are 900+ miles to go. As for Andy being able to sustain a relationship with Romey via computer, this is impossible over the long term and, dare I say, illusionary over the short term. I (and you) would be interested to know their personal thoughts at this very moment. Not the c r ap they type but the real personal thoughts. As we all intimately know, the first flush of a meeting is fun and exhilarating AND, we also know, familiarity cools this fun fire. Sure Romey is tingled by Andy's cewebrity and she satisfies his need for validation. NOW, they have spent a weekend together (albeit with some inebriation) and they must re-assess their "valuation" of each other. Do these love birds know how the other's goals mesh with their own. No. Not, yet.

In response to: [br]Interesting points, Claudea. I've been amazed that these three guys have spent three months together, 24/7, and have had only a few interpersonal spats. Isn't that remarkable? For guys, they're pretty sensitive to each other's moods and, luckily, they sit down and talk their problems out, forget the bad stuff and move on down the road. All you brothers and sisters, friends and spouses out there can take a lesson from these three friends.[br] Andy complained about writing the journals, but I've noticed his growing maturity and self-confidence in the journals. Besides, many pioneers wrote journals and diaries about their travels, so it's not like it hasn't been done before. I also think Andy's joking about not being able to be "in the moment" because he's thinking about what to write about when he takes the time to write down his thoughts. I imagine he spends a lot of hours thinking about Romey which may limit his appreciation about the wonders of nature he could be enjoying. Maybe he just thinks about Romey during the dull parts.

In response to: [br]I only know these guys from reading the journals, but it seems that Andy can be a little bit hard on himself. Just from reading his journals one can tell that he has changed, matured, got further insight into his place on this planet.....(put your own phrase here). He calls himself shy, but yet in the journals, and, I'm sure, in the e-mails to Romey he is anything but intraverted. He's saying that the computers and the journals are taking away from his adventure, but the opposite may be true. Would his and Romey's relationship progressed to where, we as humble readers can only guess, it is if it weren't for e-mail??? If he is as shy as he says, I am sure he would have gone back to Chicago on the break if it weren't for the e-mail exchanges. It seems that the computers and journaling he is complaining about are actually enhancing the experience. It will be interesting for the guys, when they finish the trip, to go back and read each others journals from the beginning and see how they have each changed, matured, etc. (yes even Eric and John--who seems to be appreciating the woman he left behind more). To see the give and take that has been taking place in the guys relationship is an illustration of their maturity. [br][br]What does Kev think? Maybe he could write a thesis on their whole experience.

 
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